Memory: Bullying and Life Essay

My earliest memory of my childhood joy was when I was four years old. I was sitting on the kitchen counter next to my mom helping her fix dinner. I do not remember what we cooked but I do remember having fun with my mom, it was the first time she taught me how to prepare food. I remember my mom cutting an onion and the juice squirted into my eye; it hurt so bad I screamed and yelled. To this day I still do not like to use onions when I am cooking, for this reason I have someone else cut the onions for me. I have always loved cooking with my mom and still love how we joke around when we are in the kitchen. I loved that I could tell her anything that is going on with me in my life when we are alone in the kitchen cooking together. Looking back at these moments in the kitchen with my mom, I realized more than ever that I wanted to start learning how to cook when I was four years old. We shared our lives while we were in that kitchen, and she taught me how to use many different types of recipes that I could use with many types of food. I love how we shared things and would tell each other our juicy secrets that we would never share with anyone else. She would also give me advice on problems that I had going on in my life. In the future, I will use this method to develop a relationship when I have my own daughter. I know she will ask me how to cook and show her step by step how prepare delicious food, that’s when I will cleverly ask her about her life. I want her to be able to come and talk to me about any problems that she has and when she needs a solution, I will help her resolve it quickly. Hopefully we will develop the kind of friendship that I have with my mother now and I hope this can be a stronger friendship that can never be broken and thrown away over silly things. My earliest unpleasant memory of school was getting bullied. I started getting bullied when I was starting middle school. Every day when I would go to school, the bullies would be there waiting for me to come so they could bully me until I would cry out in front of the whole school, I was so embarrassed and horrified of what they did to me in those days. Sometimes I am scared to tell my parents because I don’t know how they will react to the situation. I would get bullied because I didn’t have the right clothes that everybody else had on and because I was fat and they would say that people would never hang out with me or become my friend. I hated that my friends would not help me fight the bullies. They would just stand there clueless and not standing up against the bullies because they did not want to become the next target or get picked on. The bullies also picked on me because I had a learning disability. This means that I cannot defend myself because I was slow and could not comprehend what they were doing to me at school. In middle school I was a quiet kid who never bothered anyone, I was kind and I kept to myself. I didn’t know I was different or â€Å"uncool† until I started middle school. Sometimes being bullied makes me feel like I am the only one getting bullied on and I hated that so much. I was verbally and physically bullied every day and I couldn’t take anymore, I was getting harassed so much that they soon had nothing left to bring me down. I even tried to tell a teacher but she would not listen to me or believe my story. I was so scared for my life and nobody would help me; they would just stand there and laugh at me. At one point, I was constantly getting ridiculed by the popular kids and they always called me all sorts of names in the â€Å"bully book†. Getting bullied as a child scarred me for life and sometime I have a hard time forgetting what they did to me and how they did it. Four years later, I think back to all of things the bullies did to me and how I could have prevented it from happening in the first place. To this day, it still makes me cry every time I think about it. I feel like I will never be able to shake off the damage that was done to me. Will I ever be a complete person again? Getting bullied has affected me in so many ways but bullies do not really realized nor do they care how much agony they are causing the kids that they are picking on. I really want to tell the kids that are getting bullied today to realized that they can talk to someone about this. When this was happening to me I felt so alone and it is horrible to have no one you can turn to for help. It is also horrible in having going to school every day knowing those kids are getting enjoyment out of their misery. I hope one day I can talk to kids that are being bullied by other kids at school and encourage them to talk to a counselor or the principal about what’s going on. I have learned that I cannot let people bring me down because that can follow me in life. I have to make sure that I stand up for myself and what I believed in because fighting is not going to solve anything and I need to be stronger against my enemies that tried to bring me down. I can always know that I will have God by my side no matter what because I am not in this alone. My most vivid memory of my adolescent defiance is that I was easily agitated, I had a very explosive temper that I could not control during my adolescents years. I was so resentful, spiteful to my parents, my friends and to others that I treated badly. I would always get in an argument with someone that was getting on my nerves or talking my ears off about nonsense that I didn’t care about. At some point, I was desperate to prove that I was â€Å"an adult† to my parents and friends because they were not acknowledging me as one. Sometimes I often feel like I did not receive the respect and autonomy that I deserve. I would get so mad that I slammed the doors and would yell obscenities at people or my family members that did not deserve to be yelled at in the first place. I would just leave the house so that I can clear my head and think about my behavior and how I was vindictive to my family members and my friends that cared about me and loved me so much. I hated that I was disrespectful to them and that I called them names and cursed at them for no reason at all. As a teenager, it was tough for me to get along with people that did not like me or did not want to hang out with me. In high school, it was hard for me not to curse at the other kids who were saying bad things about me while they did not even know me. I had no idea why would they do that and I guess never will. As I was growing up, I learned that you should never be disrespectful to your elders but I was in that stage where it was funny to do it because other people were doing it too. I could tell that I was changing because of my negative attitude and how I was talking to others that were trying to help me feel better. I did not feel better because I felt like I was still filled with anger, frustration, and depression that I could not control my emotions cause they were all over the place. I didn’t even know how to hide my feelings from people. As I have grown older, I have changed my ways because I prayed to God that I wanted to change and become a different person that people will love and adore. I did not want to be that girl that disrespects people for no apparent reason. I want be a nicer person that will help people with their problems or difficult situations. I want to be able to control my anger and my emotions because I don’t want to do something I will someday regre t doing.